There are some admittedly great car names out there. Some evoke freedom and wide open spaces (Mustang, Jaguar). Some symbolize adventure, exploration, and the great unknown (Renegade, Explorer). Some even flirt with danger (Cobra, Barracuda). And some are the Dodge Swinger (Dodge Swinger).
Then there are those that make you wonder about the conversations that may’ve taken place around polished boardroom tables. Names that bemuse and bewilder. Names that defy interpretation and fly in the face of logic (and possibly a focus groups as well).
Here, we give you a completely subjective list of the 13 worst car names in history.
Mitsubishi Canter Guts
More than just heart and soul, you want a car with guts. But more than guts, what you really want is a car that makes you sound like a mobile surgeon from a dystopian future.
Great Wall Wingle
According to Urban Dictionary, a wingle is “silly directionless bouncy energy, often related to Fridays and too much caffeine. Best used for spinning around and around on your chair saying wheeee!” I’ll be straight with you guys — I totally forgot what we were talking about.
Mitsubishi Mini Active Urban Sandal
Proof (if proof was needed) that simply stringing words together may not always be the best strategy.
The name was intended to refer to the “rugged” body style, but still. Let’s all keep our clothes on, shall we?
Daihatsu Naked Be-Pal
We have no idea what “Be-Pal” means.
Honda Joy Machine
Much like naming a restaurant “Deliciousness Factory” or a toupee shop “She’ll Never Know,” a car moniker like “Joy Machine” kind of raises the bar a bit too high, don’t you think?
Honda Life Dunk
With spunky ambivalence, Honda leaves it up to you to decide if a “life dunk” is something truly great or truly, truly terrible.
Mitsubishi Mum 500 Shall We Join Us?
Forgetting everything we ever knew about pronouns is still not enough to make sense of this. Bonus points, though, for getting a question mark onto a car?
Peugeot Bipper Tepee
As far as anyone knows, “bipper” is not a word. Nothing more to add, really. Just wanted to make that clear.
Toyota Deli Boy
Who doesn’t love deli sandwiches? And furthermore, who doesn’t love other people bringing you said sandwiches? Actually, I kind of get this one.
Isuzu GIGA 20 Light Dump
In case you’ve never had the experience of cruisin’ around town in any kind of dump.
Mitsubishi Fighter Mignon
If you’re a street fighter by day and filet-mignon-eater by night, this car’s perfect for your down-and-dirty yet refined lifestyle.
Invicta Black Prince Wentworth
Sounds like Disney just got the name of its new prince (you’re welcome). Or possibly required reading for your graduate studies class on sixteenth-century pastoral poetry. Or just another horribly-named car.
The absolute worst car name ever?
Of course, this is just a short and admittedly subjective list of terrible car names. But we know there are more out there. What’s your pick for the absolute worst car name? Tell us in the comments section below!