Soon (very soon), Santa will climb into his sleigh, fire up the reindeer (on Donner, on Blitzen!), and set off on his epic annual trip around the world. Ah, but before he embarks on his 7-continent, trillion-stop journey, Mrs. Claus convinces him (finally) to invest in some car … er …sleigh insurance. The elves, unfortunately, while amazing with toys have yet to whip together anything like comprehensive or liability coverage.
Now Santa’s a pretty friendly guy and likes doing business face-to-face, but since there aren’t a lot of (make that any) insurance agencies at the North Pole, he decides to do his insurance shopping online. Through his travels, he’s heard that Esurance is a friendly car insurance company that loves people and cares about the planet, so he decides that sounds like the place for him.
But when Santa gets to esurance.com, he quickly realizes that he has a problem. When it comes to determining the make and model of his trusty sleigh, he’s at a loss. It’s not a GMC, an Alpha Romeo, or a Volvo. It’s an 1823 one-of-a-kind magic ride with millions of miles on the odometer.
What to do. What to do. Santa’s in a pickle. If he doesn’t find some insurance, Mrs. Claus might withhold her cookies from him, and that’s a chance he’s not willing to take. So he decides to fudge* a little on the details. He reasons that with his goodwill toward mankind, no one’s really going to turn him down on a claim. (And of course, he’s right.) Plus, Rudolph and the team run the sleigh perfectly all on their own, so he knows he doesn’t need to worry about getting in an accident. It’s strictly a precaution to make the missus happy.
So he grabs a glass of eggnog and gets a quote online:
ZIP Code: Since there’s no ZIP at the North Pole, he picks one from a letter on his desk. Turns out to be North Prairie, Wisconsin. “Perfect.”
Year: He chooses the oldest available in the dropdown — 1981.
Make: Jaguar. “I like the sound of that.”
Type: Sedan, 4-door. “Eh, close enough,” he chuckles naughtily.
Is this vehicle equipped with a snowplow? “How’d they know?!”
Primary use: Pleasure. “Oh what fun it is to ride,” Santa hums.
How many miles per year: More than 15,000 — “24,906 around the world to be precise.”
Ownership status: Paid for. “This baby is mine!”
So far, so good. Now onto the next section: primary driver info.
First name: Santa
Last name: Claus
Marital status: Married
Date of birth: 12/25/1950 “Don’t want ’em to know I’m THAT old.”
Do you currently have car insurance? “Nope. I’m Santa.”
Have you had any accidents or claims in the last 3 years? “Of course not.”
Have you had any speeding tickets or other minor violations in the last 3 years? “Clean as a whistle.”
Have you had any DUIs or other major violations in the last 5 years? “Does eggnog count? Kidding!”
And … quote!
It comes out to $66.98 a month or $394.00 for 6 months. “Well, that’s not bad at all,” Santa thinks to himself. And if it makes Mrs. Claus happy, then it’s well worth it. So he clicks “continue” and within just a few minutes, he has coverage for his sleigh … er … Jag.
With that taken care of, Santa kisses the missus, rounds up the reindeer, and gets ready for his milk-and-cookie–fueled globe trot, secure in the fact that should anything go wrong, he’s covered by Esurance.
We leave you with this before you head out of sight: “Happy driving to all, and to all a good night!”
*Just because Santa got away with it, Esurance doesn’t recommend “fudging” when you get your car insurance quote. If you provide incorrect info, it’ll eventually be discovered and you may end up with a higher premium or a canceled policy.